Monday, May 12, 2014

It's raining. Love is Reigning.

Radar from NWS of May 11, 2014 supercell storm
A supercell storm passed through the Midwest yesterday causing tornadoes, hail damage, and flash floods. The sirens went off around 7pm in Omaha, and we spent an hour in the storm shelter of our apartment building.  

According to the meteorologist from Channel 6 news, the storm cell blew out as it reached the outskirts of the metro area.  Wind speeds reached 80 mph by some reports.  Falling tree limbs knocked down power lines in some parts of the city.  As of 9am, 6,000 homes are still without power.

Given all that transpired last night, my early morning meditation seems extremely inappropriate.  I awoke around 5am but didn't feel rested.  The adrenaline-fueled reaction to the evening's weather event had made it difficult to fall asleep.  I'm in the habit of praying in bed whenever I wake up before the alarm goes off.  I start with a morning affirmation followed by the Lord's Prayer.  This morning, however, my attention wandered.  I made it as far as the affirmation for the metro area before my monkey-mind jumped to something else.

I imagined myself sitting and meditating, palms raised, and in that moment I felt loved. The divine was delighting in me.  It was clear that this love and delight wasn't about anything that I had done.  It wasn't a reaction to an accomplishment or deed or goodness. I caught a glimpse of the divine nature this morning, and I'm here to report that that nature is an eternal embrace.  

All I had to do was sit there (actually still lying in bed) and let the love reign down on me and into me.  But after all the damage that rain did last night, I felt myself resisting the way the mediation was unfolding.

The passivity of it bothers me.  When Christ blesses the disciples in Matthew 28:19, John 20:22, and Acts 1:8, he follows it up with a commission.  The disciples are blessed and empowered to go, witness, serve.  I was getting my early morning blessing, it felt great, but where were my marching orders?

Homes have been destroyed.  Families are picking up the pieces of their lives.  Nerves are frayed.  I was expecting a Holy Spirit shove out the door; a motivation to help those in need.  Instead I was getting the Stay message.  Abide.  Soak Up.

Apparently, my duty for this day is to abide in Christ and spend these next 24 hours reflecting the light of divine love.  Big whoop.  Fat lot of good that's going to do those waking up to devastation.  Also, how do I do that?  How do I become more reflective? I need more than the Sit command.  I need some detailed instructions.

My inclination is to be helpful.  The Spirit's idea of my helpfulness is different than mine, and I find that extremely frustrating.  I need grace to show me how to be still for Jesus because inaction goes against my nature.

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